Dear Mr Chilton....

You won't read this. Just like your daughter.

But here goes.

Firstly, your daughter Sarah Chilton ended our relationship after almost two years, by simply posting my front door keys back to me.

Do you think this was the best way to end our relationship?

Why couldn't she speak to me after all that time we had spent together?

Do you think this was a mature, rational way for her to behave?


She may have told you that I was 'carrying on' with an ex - Jo.

This was a lie. As Sarah finally admitted.

I was seeking advice and support from Jo about the battle for my professional career, because she had valuable experience and knowledge about it.

At the time, I had horrible complications with my diabetes and was suffering with depression and anxiety as well as trying to fight for my professional career.

Yet your daughter abandoned me in the middle of it. She had a hissy-fit - a tantrum. You have seen those before.

I was shocked to the core by her abandonment - when I needed her the most.

And throughout that summer of 2017, I hoped against hope that, somehow, she would relent and come back to me. And support and love me.

But she didn't. She abandoned me - even though I had done nothing wrong.

None of it was my fault.

Then in that summer, she betrayed me to my employer.

You will have your own version of Sarah's meeting with my employer. I know the truth. It's all on this blog.

As for me, that knowledge of her betrayal virtually destroyed me.

I had already tried to commit suicide in August - two months after Sarah vanished out of my life without explanation.

Her betrayal of me, and everything that I thought we had together, was yet another crushing blow when I was already in the middle of a horrible nightmare.

Can you imagine how I felt? The woman I loved, suddenly disappearing, without any explanation?

And then discovering that she had spoken to my employer - when she couldn't even speak to me?

It made me even more suicidal.

When I saw her in December, finally, I was so shocked by her hysterical reaction that I wanted to kill myself again.

The next month, I tried, twice, to kill myself. The pain was so intense.

I just could not believe that Sarah, the woman I loved, could act in this way.

You saw my car abandoned on the moors above Marsden in January. I was in Oldham Royal having taken a massive overdose of insulin. And under police guard for 48 hours. It was an absolutely horrific experience, both physically and mentally.

Can you even begin to understand how I felt?

Then, I finally spoke to Sarah on February 14th. She invited me in. Then she lied repeatedly to me, while i was distraught.

She admitted that I had not been 'carrying on' with Jo. Even though this is what she had screamed at me the previous December.

Why the different stories?

She told me that she abandoned me, because my relationship with Jo was 'too intimate'. Because I shared all the details of my employment case with her.

Do you think this was a rational response?

That I was wrong to ask a woman friend for practical help when I was fighting for my professional career?

And, of course, Sarah denied that she had betrayed me to my employer - even though she could speak to her and not me, who had loved her so much.

I knew when I left her that night in February that Sarah was beyond any kind of rational understanding. Or empathy. And I know this is difficult for you to accept about your daughter. But that is the truth. She was care-less, throughout.

I knew then that it was hopeless. That's why I wrote to her on April 18th - the first anniversary of the evening when she triggered all my troubles.

I wanted to tell her the truth. I stand by that letter. And I stand by the up-dated version.

Her response was to contact the police and allege I was harassing her.

But I was only telling the truth.

I had visited her in December, when she ranted uncontrollably at me.

Then in February, when she invited me into her home.

Then I wrote to her in April.

And this was harassment? Do me a favour.

Listen, mate. I had spent almost every day with Sarah ever since we had met, via text, email, phone, in person. We were virtually inseparable. Every waking moment I spent I devoted to your daughter. Because I loved her from the bottom of my heart. And then she just cut me off, completely.

How would you feel, if it was Sheila?

My account of my final visit to Marsden is on the blog. You won't read it.

But you need to take it from me, that I was trying to bury the ghost of your daughter by my visit.

Instead you went crazy at me.

I just don't understand this - perhaps that's my fault.

But I was the one who had been abandoned, betrayed, suicidal - and then you summon the police.

What had Sarah suffered?

Anyway, you know what happened next. It was a horrible experience to be arrested by police at 4am, finger-printed like a common criminal, taken dna swabs, photographed and then cautioned.

But you think I deserved that? After all I had been through?

Do you not think I had been through enough by then? Three suicide attempts? It was more actually.

Thankfully, the police were far more empathic than Sarah or you have ever been.

But do you ever wonder why it ever got to that point? Because I am mad? A looney? Someone who just can't accept being dumped?

"My daughter rejected you - get over it, mate!"

I thought she was more caring than that. More warm. More gentle. More supportive. More my partner. We had said we loved each other. For me at least, it wasn't a casual thing. Sarah was my entire world. I relied on her so much. I loved her from the bottom of my heart. She was everything to me. Yet, she vanished when I needed her most.

What do you think of that?

I cannot begin to tell you of the pain, hurt and suffering I have endured because of the way your daughter has behaved.  It has been absolutely awful. You will have no understanding of this.

But I am a broken man. She broke me.

I thought she was my partner, for ever. I was sadly wrong.

But it's not about me, anymore. It's about her, now.

I have no doubt she has moved on.

But listen mate. She needs help. No doubt she has had new men in her life since me. But unless you get her some help, none of them will last. She will never be happy, or content.

You should have got her some professional help when she was jilted all those years ago. That was your mistake.

Now this is your last chance to help her before you die. You need to take some control. And actually fucking tell her, she needs some support and advice. A counsellor would be a good start. But that won't suffice. She needs more.

I loved your daughter, beyond words. I am so angry, so disappointed, so perplexed, so frustrated, by her. I wish she could have been so much better as a human being.

But she has been pretty despicable. I know you cannot accept that. But try and look at it objectively. If she wasn't your much-loved daughter. What would you make of someone else who did all that she has done? Remained silent to someone who loved her, beyond words?

There's nothing I can do about it, anymore.

It's up to you now -  you can help her. It's the last positive thing you can do for her.

Get on with it. And look after her.